Day six

     Day six of being unemployed. It's almost weird not working, after working for ten years. I know I can't really say that I've been working for a long time, because I guess it isn't really that long, considering the age one would need to be in order to retire... I am straying off topic aren't I?

     Have you ever had one of those moments where there was so much that you wanted to say, and then when you go to say it--silence? There reflecting back on situations where I could have said whatever I wanted (like getting fired), I chose to keep my mouth shut. Why? I no longer have to worry about offending anyone, or making anyone mad. What more could they have done? No, I kept my comments on how crappy of a decision it was on their behalf and a plethora of other truthful comments to myself. I do wish I had said those things, because quite frankly, they need to be said.

     Luckily for me, I don't have to worry about that place anymore. Such a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders, when they decided to let me go (yes, that is how he worded it...). It was not a good work environment to be in, and that is one of the reasons why I initially wanted to go into HR. I wanted to make a difference to employees who were getting crapped on by their employers, I wanted to be apart of the solution. If that even makes any sense?

     I was looking through the copies of my year end reviews, and the last one I got (last year) said that the boss would recommend me for a supervisor position. Really? How do someone go from supervisor material one year to fired within 10 months? It's beyond me. But since New Jersey is an At-Will state (which means they can fire you for wearing purple socks on St. Patty's Day) (read: for whatever reason they want... as long as it isn't discriminatory), I had no choice but to take it. It just baffles me, that's all.

     My game plan is to focus on my school work. Which means me not working and collecting unemployment until I can get an associates degree and then find a job within the field I am studying for. What ever that may be, of course. I don't know if there is a bad stigma associated with choosing to not to actively look for a new job once you find yourself without one? A part of me feels bad for willingly collecting the benefits that I've paid into. It's almost like breaking into your piggy bank.

     So... Now I have to wonder, am I apart of the 99% or the 53%? I -did- work hard for what I have. It definitely wasn't my choice to be without a job. But now it IS my choice to stay without a job in order to better myself for a better future.

     It's a conundrum!


Dessiree said...

I felt the same way when I got fired from ARVEST BANK (chose to capitalize it because using their name online is what I was fired for, lmao). All I did was sit there and cry, because it caught me so off guard and I was worried about how Robert would react, since he got me the job. Afterwards, once I was able to process everything, I had a lot of regret for not saying what I should have said.

I also felt that way when I got let go from a pharmacy tech job. LOL, this seems like I've been fired a lot, but those are the only 2 times. The reason I was fired from that one is because of a complete bitch of a lady who thinks she can do any and everything she pleases. I heard later on, from people who've been at the company for years, that she's always like that, and she's one of those 2 faced people who think because they have a "supervisor" title that they rule the company. She only met me ONCE and decided she didn't like me, so the next day, the day before the Christmas holiday, I was fired.

Anyways, I don't think it's a bad thing for you to be collecting your unemployment. At least you have a good reason, school, for why you will be out of work for so long on future interviews. That's something that looks really bad, unless you have a legitimate reason like this.

Good luck with you classes! <3

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