It's been a long time since I've written. I will (have) to admit that being unemployed has gotten the best of me. I've been depressed and it seems like it's only getting worse. I've become sedentary and my body hates me for it. I'll be the first to admit that I was never active or in shape, but since I haven't been working, I've been doing even less. My day consists of going from bed to the PC chair to the bathroom. Unfortunately classes have ended so now I have a full month to try and figure out what to do with my time. I'm too young to be aching and feeling like a 90 year old woman. Dammit!

Somehow, I've gotten off topic... 

How long is it okay to hold a grudge? I know grudges aren't healthy, but lets face it--sometimes you cannot help but to hold one. After a while you get tired of being the punching bag, the door mat, the pushover. There comes a time when you get fed up and it turns you bitter and you soon despise the offender. You blame them for everything wrong in your life, because you've convinced yourself that they had a hand in your crappy luck. 

Isn't it always better easier to blame other people for your short comings, than to look at yourself? No one wants to believe that they are the reason for their short comings... Right? Granted, I've some reasons to still feel ill-at-will towards some people... But I guess it's not entirely their fault I am in situation I am in... I just don't know if I can let go of the hurt. 


Post a Comment